Round 2

Here we go again.

Deep breath. In, out. Quiet your brain.

You’ve got some time yet.

Do some yoga.

Drink more water.

Less coffee.

No booze.

Fewer carbs.

More green things.

Try not to worry about the weight you’ve gained in the last few years.

Try not to worry about any other medical issues they may not have found yet.

Try not to worry about getting time off work, it’ll happen.

Try to think of how to write it down on paper. How to express this anxiety that seems to be coursing through everything.

Mute your watch’s heartrate warnings.

Do some more yoga.

Breathe in, out. Don’t forget to do that.

Focus on work during the day, and being calm at night.

Calm. You’re supposed to be calm.

Don’t try to rid yourself of the worrying thoughts. Just turn them down. Lower their volume. You can worry all you like – hell, you’re going to whether you try to or not. Just try and lower the noise.

Think positively. Or something.

Don’t be scared of the negative thoughts, too. It’s normal.

Think about better success rates for round 2. Think about going into it with experience.

Think about the injections being a breeze, the scans being old hat, the ovaries doing their thing.

You’ve done it all before.

You got this.

Just breathe.

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3 thoughts on “Round 2

  1. Good luck and wishing you all the very best for this round. To cheer you up and help you feel more positive, have a look at this news that shows multiple rounds of IVF increases chances.
    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-40701112
    My second round of IVF resulted in higher quality embryos but also I knew what to expect which actually helped me a lot. While it wasn’t any less horrible, at least there were no big surprises and I could plan accordingly. I hope that your dreams come true very soon. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve loved reading your blog as I completely identify with the challenges and heartbreak this journey brings. There were many, many times that I wanted to give up, felt completely despondent with the whole thing and believed that it would never happen for me. Our journey took us through IUI, a few rounds of IVF with my own eggs, flying to Spain for egg donation IVF and egg donation IVF here at home, and it cost more than I initially thought we could afford. I also lost my first baby at 17 weeks. However, after every setback and heartache I eventually picked myself up and dusted myself off and kept going because it was the only thing I really wanted. And it was all worth it as I have the most incredible miraculous baby girl now who is 12 weeks old. And I would do it all again to get her. I just wanted to reach out and let you know that there is always, always hope. Your journey is yours (I would find other people’s stories hard to read as I either thought, “Man, do I have to go through all that before I can get a baby?!” or “I don’t even want to hear about a success story because I’m not having my success story so you can keep your experience to yourself!”) and it will be what your journey will be but I just wanted to let you know that it DOES happen even when you are too scared to let yourself believe that it can. I wish you all the very, very best and thanks for being brave enough to share your story with strangers.

    Liked by 1 person

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