Picture day

(Thoughts written at the time):

Today I’m 12+6. Today we had another scan.

I’ve been waiting for this for such a long time. Today was the chance to find out if you are doing okay, after weeks of wondering. We got to see you and hear your wee heart.

You kicked away and waved your wee arm and the technician measured your parts and pointed out your legs (crossed at the ankle), your spine, and the two parts of your brain.

Here is a picture of you!

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We’ve been telling some people about you. Tonight we’ll tell your uncles and aunts, and your cousins. Tomorrow we’ll message our friends in Scotland and here, and maybe on Friday we’ll tell social media.

It has been hands down the hardest secret I’ve ever had to keep. After years of infertility, we’ve had so many people in our corner, cheering us on. I can’t wait to see how happy knowing about you will make them. I can’t wait til you make my pudgy belly round. I can’t wait til I get to feel you.

Such a wee miracle.

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Scan day

(Thoughts written at the time):

Today I am 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Today we had our first scan.

Last Thursday, when I hit 7 weeks, it felt like a switch had been flicked. Suddenly, I felt pregnant. I already had the usual symptoms of the hormones: sore/enlarged chest, gas and bloating, fatigue – but suddenly my uterus had a fullness to it, a slight pressure. I also had very mild pulling cramps. It was like, “Hey! I’m here!”

I don’t understand how other mothers-to-be cope waiting for their first scan. Often it’s this long wait until 12 weeks to know whether or not all is well. I am grateful that one positive of the fertility treatment process is that you always get this early look. It’s a chance to check all is progressing as it should, and hopefully see that heartbeat.

I spent the 3.5 weeks leading up to it terrified that there wouldn’t be a heartbeat.

But there was. There was a little babe, with a little yolk sac, and a little flickering heartbeat. I had to stick my fists under my hips to raise myself a little so we got a good view of it, and then the doctor flicked a switch and suddenly, we heard it.

Magic.

I was measuring right on schedule (even possibly a few days ahead) and all looked well. He advised me to up my thyroid meds until my first blood test, and to get myself a midwife. I’d already seen my GP and contacted a midwife, and shortly after my scan, spoke to her and booked in an appointment.

 

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We’re all go, and finally, suddenly, it all feels real.

I think I’m going to be a mum.