8-9 weeks

(Thoughts written at the time):

I have the weirdest feeling – it’s like I know you’re there. I can feel this pull in my uterus, like it’s being forced to grow. It’s almost constant. Like an ongoing hello.

I’m feeling a bit breathless at the moment. And so, so tired. I’m also quite over the medications, but also every day this gratitude is always there. What a milestone to get this far.

Apparently the babe now measures as a raspberry or a cherry.  I haven’t gained any weight yet, which is common for those who had a little extra padding to begin with. So far I’ve done nothing but lose (no appetite, queasiness) so I’m a few kgs down. However, I’m already sleeping with a pillow between my knees (the progesterone supplementation makes everything relax, including hips etc, so can lead to early achiness). I think I’ll order some maternity clothes next week. The bloat is unreal.

Had my first real craving last week – salt & vinegar chips!

The worst has been the heartburn. A kind friend sent me some Rennie’s from Scotland (what a life saver). I’m going to stock up on Gaviscon.

My skin is dry and I’m getting a fluffy chin (delightful). Also my boobs being so much bigger and sweating together has given me a rash. Isn’t pregnancy delightful?

I also met my midwife this week who is super lovely and supportive and everything I wanted in a midwife. Chuffed.

So. We’re moving along! The hardest part is not telling anyone. I want to shout it from the rooftops.

 

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Scan day

(Thoughts written at the time):

Today I am 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Today we had our first scan.

Last Thursday, when I hit 7 weeks, it felt like a switch had been flicked. Suddenly, I felt pregnant. I already had the usual symptoms of the hormones: sore/enlarged chest, gas and bloating, fatigue – but suddenly my uterus had a fullness to it, a slight pressure. I also had very mild pulling cramps. It was like, “Hey! I’m here!”

I don’t understand how other mothers-to-be cope waiting for their first scan. Often it’s this long wait until 12 weeks to know whether or not all is well. I am grateful that one positive of the fertility treatment process is that you always get this early look. It’s a chance to check all is progressing as it should, and hopefully see that heartbeat.

I spent the 3.5 weeks leading up to it terrified that there wouldn’t be a heartbeat.

But there was. There was a little babe, with a little yolk sac, and a little flickering heartbeat. I had to stick my fists under my hips to raise myself a little so we got a good view of it, and then the doctor flicked a switch and suddenly, we heard it.

Magic.

I was measuring right on schedule (even possibly a few days ahead) and all looked well. He advised me to up my thyroid meds until my first blood test, and to get myself a midwife. I’d already seen my GP and contacted a midwife, and shortly after my scan, spoke to her and booked in an appointment.

 

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We’re all go, and finally, suddenly, it all feels real.

I think I’m going to be a mum.

6 weeks

(Thoughts written at the time):

We reached 6 weeks pregnant and I waited for the dreaded morning sickness to come. None came, but shortly after beginning the week, I was hit with a nasty cold. It’s the total worst – as much as I’m embracing being pregnant, it’d be nice to be able to take something to speed up my recovery. Instead, I must rest.

The bloating has begun, and my boobs are already ridiculous. Other than that, I’ve been doing okay. Every day is a day closer to the scan, which I’m most excited about. I know that hearing that heartbeat gives us a 90-95% chance of taking home a baby. Oh how I want to hear it.

For now, have a picture of our weird little moon crater offspring:

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Isn’t that wild? That’s a picture of our embryo freshly thawed on the day it was transferred to my uterus. It blows my mind to have such a tangible reminder that this future person started as this tiny clump of cells.

Today, at 6+4, our babe is the size of a chocolate chip, a pea, a ladybug, a grain of rice, a smartie. The apps all have different cute size reference points, and I have all the apps.

The baby is growing organs and has eyes that can’t quite see yet, and may already apparently be waving its little nubby arms and legs around. This is all super surreal to me. Apart from the little bloated belly (which to be honest, I’ve always had a fat tum), and the tiredness, I don’t really feel any different. I’m still on estradiol and progesterone for 4 more weeks, and I’ve just started separate folic acid and iodine instead of my expensive prenatal, so I currently take about 11 pills a day.

I can’t wait for the first scan, and to reach that 12 week point, too. I think I’ll be forever counting milestones until we feel like we’re “in the clear”. But maybe I’ll never feel really in the clear. It took so much heartache to get here, there’s a part of me expecting failure and devastation.

I pray every day that this pregnancy continues.

Betas

To update you on last week’s very exciting post, our home tests were followed very quickly with a blood draw: the only one I haven’t dreaded.

I knew we were pregnant, I needed to know how pregnant – that number would tell us if this pregnancy was likely to continue or just a blip on the radar.

Thankfully, our first number was 260. 5 days later we were followed with 2300 – an excellent “doubling time”. HCG should double every 48-72 hours, mine had doubled in 38.

Then test number 3 followed a week after that one, with 14300. I finally felt like I could breathe a little bit. All we had to wait for now was the scan: once I’d heard that wee heart beating, we felt like we could tell our close friends and wider family.

It felt like the longest wait of our lives.