Here’s some thoughts about this week.

The size/what features:  He is the size of a cauliflower, and is apparently possibly opening his eyes. He’s fond of lying sideways across me lately, with kicks often being accompanied by headbutts so that I get a thump on both sides at once. It’s pretty neat.

Sleep:  We just took a quick trip up north to Lake Taupo and I got a lot of naps. It was great!

Maternity Clothes:  I busted out some maxi dresses the other day to put in the wash for those warm days that are hopefully coming!

Food cravings:  Nothing new, though my diabetes test is coming up so I think I should lay off the sugar.

Food aversions:  Nothing new!

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:

Hunger – I wake up hungry! No nighttime munchies yet, however.

Heartburn – Endless GERD. I may remove this prompt because yes it may never change.

Skin – So moisturised.

Stretchmarks:  No change. Getting round.

Doctor’s Appointment:  Seeing midwife on Friday, then the next test is my gestational diabetes test, probably next week. Joy!

Movement:  SO much. Today he is moving almost constantly. Have a nap, kid.

Best moment of the week:  When we were up north, D finally got to feel him move. It was quite a triumphant celebration on his part and it was just so great for him to finally catch it. I know as Bubs gets bigger, he’ll get a lot more chances, but this was so great for him after such a long wait.

What I’m looking forward to:  Starting antenatal classes this week!

What I miss:  Feeling limber. Ha. The waddle has begun.

I’ll be 6 months preg on Friday!

We reached V day! Such a milestone. Still quite surreal to look down and realise that yes, it’s me that’s pregnant. This is happening to my body and it is real and a baby is coming.

I didn’t want to do the normal weekly update this week because I just have so many thoughts about this date. I remember when we were starting our first round of IVF, I would plug the dates into my spreadsheet (everything in my life is planned on a spreadsheet) and calculate when 12 weeks would be, 20 weeks would be, 24 weeks would be… viability as a concept and a date just seemed very alien to me.

And now, well. It still feels a little alien to me. All I wanted was to carry this baby and it still often feels like a strange lie that I am the one getting to carry this miracle baby. So many stars had to align to get us here. So many doctors and drugs and wishes.

He is as big as a cantaloupe, and this past week has had the hiccups. He’s also getting really good at booting me in the ribs or the bladder.

He has fingers and toes and the beginning of fingernails, and hair and eyelashes. He has a fast, strong heartbeat and a sleeping pattern (obviously not my sleeping pattern, however) and is kept safe and fed and warm inside me.

I worried that pregnancy would be awful and in my stubbornness to “enjoy every moment”, I would just grin and bear it. But pregnancy has been wonderful. I have the most terrible GERD and dry skin and achey everything and I sleep terribly, but it has still been wonderful. I love my body for the first time that I can remember. I’m a bit ungainly and clumsy and it’s hard to sometimes get comfortable, but I don’t feel fat and gross when I look in the mirror and hate every bump and squishy bit I see.

I feel like this perfect mama growing this perfect babe and I’m just so grateful it’s sickening.

I’m still scared. I think I’ll always be scared. We may be past the point where babe can likely survive, but I still want to protect him and keep him inside as long as I can. There’s nothing to suggest he’ll come before he’s ready, but. In infertility, everything that could go wrong feels like it will.

That being said, I’ve had a textbook pregnancy so far. He is perfectly on size, my tests have all been great, and everything seems perfect.

I’m thankful for every step that got us here. Grow, baby, grow.

Another update!

The size/what features:  The midwife says this is a period of high growth, and the internet says this is the time that he has the most room to move around and oh boy is he showing it. So good to get reminders of him all the time, even when they’re a kick to the cervix. He’s the size of an ear of corn or a barbie doll. He can hear us talking to him, his nails are growing and he’s getting fat.

Sleep:  Still rubbish but we’re doing fine.

Maternity Clothes:  I’m thinking I’ll need another pair of maternity jeans soon – thrashing my one pair! Still loving dresses and leggings though, so easy for work. Definitely feel like I’m growing a lot lately.

Food cravings:  These have backed off a bit but I definitely know now what I feel like eating each meal which is nice.

Food aversions:  Main issue these days is getting halfway through a meal and quitting. There’s just not enough room in there now!

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:
Hunger – Stepped up a bit!

Heartburn – Still every day though the drugs etc do help. I’m expecting a very hairy baby.

Skin – Still dry and I’m sprouting hairs everywhere but otherwise no issues just now.

– – –

Stretchmarks:  None yet but I think this baby is about to start making me rather large.

Doctor’s Appointment:  Nothing this week but I’m all booked in for our 28 week growth scan, and my GP has upped my thyroid meds as I’m borderline normal T4 (though my TSH has been great). I think it’s all the antacids…

Movement:  Loads. He is always letting me know he’s there, I love it.

Belly Button:  Hasn’t popped yet but is definitely getting shallow!

Best moment of the week:  Maisie has been very cuddly lately though I still think she has no clue. I am also looking super pregnant which has been helpful with getting seats on the train, though not always. Otherwise all good, just enjoying pregnancy!

What I’m looking forward to:  The next scan, finishing work (3 months and a bit left!) and we have a brief holiday coming up in a few weeks.

What I miss:  Not aching, I guess?

Here’s this week’s update!

The size/what features:  I don’t think I’ve ever seen/held a papaya, but hey, the baby is papaya-sized. He has his lanugo – a thin layer of baby fur! – and is working on his eyebrows and hair apparently. He is also more grabby now they say, possibly playing with his umbilical cord, and I tell ya, he is definitely more active.

Total weight gain/how much this week:  I keep bouncing back and forth around my pre-preg weight, but baby is on track so I’m not bothered. I don’t think I’ll track this from now on, to be honest!

Sleep:  Up and down. I have some good nights and then I have 2 or 3 really rubbish nights in a row which throws me off. My pregnancy pillow is excellent but I still get achey hips and lower back and moving around is definitely more difficult.

Maternity Clothes:  Might get myself some new jeans soon. Definitely leaning more towards comfort than style now.

Food cravings:  Nothing new!

Food aversions:  Garlic and parsley lately. Still off onion.

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:

Hunger – Definitely ramped up which I’m grateful for. I wake up a bit hungry and I get hungry quick now.

Heartburn – GERD cough killing me softly with its song.

Skin – Not too bad.

– – –

Stretchmarks:  Nothing new.

Doctor’s Appointment:  Saw the midwife and wee boy is right on track in every way – perfectly on size. My BP is great, my fundal height is right on track, my thyroid levels are excellent and only being retested every 6 weeks now. Next appointment we’ll be close to my glucose test and we’ll have started antenatal classes! Next scan is 28 weeks.

Movement:  So much now and I love it.

Belly Button:  Still clinging on as an innie.

Best moment of the week:  Telling baby I loved him and being booted really hard in response. Seeing my midwife and feeling that all is going well and hearing that heartbeat again.

What I’m looking forward to:  V-day (viability), starting antenatal classes, getting the nursery together a bit more.

What I miss:  Getting off the couch without wiggling, sleeping right through the night.

Apparently babe weighs about 1lb! You’ve got a lot of growing to do, Bubs. My midwife said this is a period of rapid growth. Grow, baby, grow!

The size/what features:  Banana like as usual, a “large carrot”, pomegranate, a “least weasel”??

Total weight gain/how much this week:  400g! Whoop.

Sleep:  A bit better!

Maternity Clothes:  Rotating the same mat. wear but I did find a couple of other dresses from my standard wardrobe that work as well this week. I’m happy to have quite a selection to go by at the moment.

Food cravings:  I’m starting to definitely have clear ideas of what I want to eat each day which is a huge improvement, and I’m definitely hungrier!

Food aversions: Nothing major. Kinda gone off onion lately.

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:

Hunger – Increasing!

Heartburn – Still terrible but my antacids are doing the trick most of the time.

Skin – No change, trying to moisturise!

– – –

Stretchmarks:  Still no change.

Doctor’s Appointment:  Seeing my midwife Friday – looking forward to seeing her, it’s been a while (she’s been on holiday).

Movement:  He wriggles so much during particular times that when he’s quiet for a bit I hope he’s just sleeping and end up poking around. He’s pretty active though and it’s a really nice reassurance.

Belly Button:  The same.

Baby’s sex?:  In case you missed last week, we’re having a boy.

Best moment of the week:  Probably just his movements being so obvious now!

What I’m looking forward to:  D getting to feel him, getting to the 24 week viability mark.

What I miss:  Being able to bend over or reach for something when on the couch. It’s much harder these days!