Nearly time

Dear Baby,

I’m writing this from your bedroom. I am sitting in a rocking chair with a small table to my left, a wee clothing rack to my right, and slightly further afield is your cot, your changing table, another chair, and a rug and soft play mat on the floor. Maisie has decided the play mat is hers, by the way. You may have to fight her for it.

A year ago we were planning this cycle. We were only a few weeks away from the regime of pills and injections that would lead to egg collection that would lead to embryo creation, that would lead to you.

You. You came from nothing. Cells manipulated and forced together by science. An embryologist created your beginnings and then a doctor and his team made you real.

In 5 days at the latest, you’ll be on your way. We’ll hold you and sing to you and give you your name. I’m hoping you’ll decide to show up a bit quicker, but if not, that will be just fine. You have so many people waiting to meet you, and a puppy that wants to give you lots and lots of licks.

I still can’t believe it sometimes. How did we get so lucky that it all finally clicked into place? How am I going to be a mum in 5 or so days? What will you look like? What will you do with your life? Who will you be?

I love you so much.

37 weeks

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate! Just a wee update this week.

We had a lovely holiday. Our families were all together in one country, in one room. Baby received gifts despite not being here yet. And best of all, I didn’t go into labour on Christmas day!

Friday I see the midwife and next week I have my scan with the maternal fetal medicine unit in the city. Baby boy will be here whenever it suits him I guess but I’m hopeful it’ll be spontaneous labour. If I don’t go into labour by the 10th of January then I’m scheduled for induction, which ideally I’d like to avoid. We shall see…

Sleep:  I’m still awake every hour because of my hips aching but I know the end is in sight…

Food cravings:  Back to my mid-pregnancy obsession with Fanta and anything vinegary – especially my husband’s potato salad.

Food aversions:  Nothing really, just needing smaller portions as he is taking up all the space as usual.

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:
Hunger – Not much change. He hasn’t dropped yet so I don’t have more room yet.

– – –

Stretchmarks:  Tiger stripes everywhere. Itchy and sore in places, but not too bad. I’m pretty accepting of them for now.

Movement:  Still super wiggly but it’s obvious he has no room. He’s too tall to turn much so he just headbutts my cervix and kicks me in the ribs. I wonder how active he’ll be on the outside. Sports in my future regardless I think!

Best moment of the week:  Christmas with our families.

What I’m looking forward to:  Putting the cot and rocking chair together this weekend. And the shelves up. Baby boy being here!

What I miss:  Not being achey and slow and tired. But the end is in sight!

34-36 weeks

I feel like individual update posts for these weeks would be all the same.

So it seemed better to combine them! That and the end of the year has been a total whirlwind and so busy – it’s really hard to leave your job for a year!

The past few weeks have been a bit mad with baby showers and meetings and appointments with my midwife and the hospital… all seems to be okay. I’m being referred to Wellington but it’s just a precaution, and baby will be induced on his due date if he doesn’t turn up before.

Some stats…!

The size/what features: Romaine lettuce or something. A toolbox in one of my apps! Either way, he is a large boy, now 82nd percentile. I think he’s just a long baby, though his head is 90th percentile…

Sleep:  I’m awake every hour just to rotate because of my hips aching. I hug my maternity pillow and have another one between my knees and then usually the dog under my feet. Dave is… somewhere in the bed.

Food cravings:  Give me all the chocolate.

Food aversions:  Nothing too bad lately, I’ve actually been able to eat a bit more.

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:
Hunger – Increased a little and I can’t wait for him to drop because I’ll be able to breathe/have less reflux. But then again, I think I’ll cope without the extra cervix pain, thanks.

– – –

Stretchmarks:  I think more have appeared and I’m sure more are on the way…

Doctor’s Appointment:  I saw the maternity unit today and they lost my notes. Doh. However they’re happy for me to keep seeing my midwife and see the Wellington unit in January. It’s also a bit weird to be booked in for induction… I’m going to do my best to get him to come before then.

Movement:  Super wiggly baby and I see it almost every time now – it’s quite strange and alien watching your stomach roll and wiggle. He gets hiccups in my groin which is funny.

Best moment of the week:  Seeing him wiggle from the outside. Finishing work soon!

What I’m looking forward to:  Christmas. Getting some rest. Finishing up his room (even though he won’t be using it for a while, I want it to be a proper baby’s room rather than half guest, half nursery!

Not working for a year! Financially it’ll suck, but oh boy I can’t wait for this time with my wee man.

What I miss:  Not taking forever to get everywhere. Not hurting. Fitting clothing. But it’s all worth it a million times over.

I’m 37 weeks today. I’ll do another update later in the week, but for now I’m feeling just so blessed we made it here.

33 weeks

Here is an update from the last week!

The size/what features:  I’m now carrying a pineapple, bok choy, a ferret (yes, really, according to one app he is ferret-sized)… and he is getting so ready to be a wee human outside me. Terrifying yet so exciting.

Sleep:  Definitely still up and down though not as bad as it was. I also find if I wake up super early it’s really hard to go back to sleep. I guess I’m getting ready…

Food cravings:  Dairy lately, which is interesting – probably just needing a bit of extra calcium. Also with this weird weather lately I’ve been having more soup-based lunches, but I doubt that’s baby-related!

Also, weirdly (cause I was never much of a drinker), I’ve really wanted a cider or glass of wine lately.

Food aversions:  Textures like onion still gross me out a bit. 

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:
Hunger – Definitely more interested in food!

Skin – Dry as always and my neck has got a lot of skin tags on it which, ugh. Apparently they mostly disappear after. No one tells you about that random stuff!

– – –

Stretchmarks:  Nothing new since last week, it’s amazing how they’ve just kinda appeared though!

Doctor’s Appointment:  I have another scan Thursday and am seeing the midwife Friday where I’ll get my next anti-D shot. Hopefully on the scan my fluid hasn’t increased too much – I definitely feel tight and like I’m larger every week. My weight hasn’t really increased though so I’m SO curious as to what will happen after birth. How can he be growing but I’m not? I guess we are balancing each other out as he steals all my dinners.

Movement:  Still super rolly and wiggly and you can see it now too. I also have been having more lightning pains which means I have to stop when I’m walking and take it slow whenever I’m heading anywhere. My bump feels heavy and I’m definitely getting really tired.

Best moment of the week:  Finishing up some of the shopping for him, feeling like it’s getting closer. I’m actually kinda terrified of birth (as many of us are!) but trying not to worry too much about it as whatever happens will happen. As long as he gets here safely I will cope with it.

I also find myself getting more emotional lately thinking about our baby being here. Our baby. I can’t believe I get to meet him in 6ish weeks. What will he be like? What will he look like? How big will he be? (I still think he’s going to be a long baby/tall boy!)

What I’m looking forward to:  I have two baby showers in my 34th week! A family one and a work one. And in under 3 weeks D’s mum and sister are in NZ and then will be with us for Christmas.

What I miss:  Just being mobile/feeling agile. But we’re so close to the finish line.

I have 3.5 weeks at work! Eeeek!

31-32 weeks

Time got away from me last week!

So here is a combined update for the last few weeks.

The size/what features:  Babe is now in the 62nd percentile. He is growing well and has been head-down since 28 weeks. I think he is long rather than large, but we shall see. I keep picturing him with long legs and feet (just going by some of the scans) and I think he hasn’t turned from being cephalic because he’s long and comfy. His feet are often pushing on my ribs.

Sleep:  Some good nights, some bad. Last night was particularly rough, with 2 toilet breaks and a lot of discomfort with reflux. I couldn’t get settled. It makes working tough but you just push through it.

Food cravings:  Nothing lately but I do find there’s not much room in there, yet I’m more hungry. Fun combination. If I eat a decent portion I often feel awful afterwards and if I eat only a small amount the reflux is eased but I’m starving again soon after, so it’s a fine balance.

Food aversions:  I’m not really averse to anything, but I’m very cautious!

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:

Hunger – Has increased, but as above – it’s not that helpful.

Skin – Dry, a bit itchy. I kinda wish I could moisturise everything all at once without the effort. The sun being out is helpful – I’m hoping to get some good chill time in the garden on these long summer nights, and also will hopefully be swimming to take the weight off me.

– – –

Stretchmarks:  Definitely there now, mainly low and under the bump though, which I guess is the best place for them! Not that I’m likely to show off my stomach to many in future. I always thought in pregnancy I’d wear a bikini for the first time ever, but it’s hard finding them with supportive enough tops that are affordable, so I’ve ended up buying a large tankini with boy shorts (also helpful if you’re not super into maintaining your bikini line while pregnant!)

Doctor’s Appointment:  I’ve seen the midwife and been to the Dr for my Boostrix/TDap so baby is protected from whooping cough now.

Also, my last scan showed that I have borderline polyhydramnios (excess amniotic fluid) so I’m being referred back to the hospital maternity unit just to be safe. Hopefully that happens soon. I’m not worrying too much about it – it does explain why my bump feels firmer than normal. I don’t have anywhere near the amount of extra fluid that leads to pre-term labour or anything, so it’s just a matter of being a bit larger and a bit firmer for now.

Movement:  All the time, he’s very rolly and wiggly and still loves my right side. I’ve also started getting lightning pains from his head on my cervix as I walk. Those are fun.

Best moment of the week:  My SIL found a baby item I’d been super keen on on an online specials site and split the cost with me. It’s a little pod baby can sleep in with a sun shade so we can take him to the beach or even just sit on the lawn or by the pool with him.

What I’m looking forward to:  Finishing work – I’ve got less than a month now!

What I miss:  Just sleeping well, that’s all. It’s also quite anxiety-inducing being pregnant and I know it’ll be a different kind of anxiety once he’s out in the world.

I can’t believe how fast this trimester is going. I feel like once work is done then he’ll be here so quick. We need to name him!

30 weeks

How did we get here?

Suddenly we’re in the “end zone”. I feel like I’ve had a bit of an explosion of growth lately and we’re all of a sudden getting really close to D day.

I look super pregnant.

I’ve packed a go bag for the baby and will be packing our bag this week I think – feels like I have loads of time to do this but I also know anything can happen.

A family friend and my boss are both throwing baby showers for me, which I’m really happy about but it also feels alien to be looking forward to a baby shower. I attended an afternoon tea for my sister-in-law in September and that was the first time I agreed to attend one and actually didn’t hate it. Infertility is hard to shake.

The size/what features:  Babe is the size of a zucchini, a large cabbage, a platypus (!), a winter squash. He is moving so much still and giving big kicks in all directions. He has been mostly head down for a few weeks but occasionally I think he is transverse as I get wiggles on both sides (but could be hands I guess!). D has had a lot more chances to feel him now, as he is so keen on kicking, especially on my right side where he likes to hang out most of the time.

Sleep:  Some terrible nights lately with hip pain, but then also some nights where I have no issue. It’s totally just down to growth spurts really I think. I get super tired but I also need to remind myself not to do too much.

Food cravings:  Dumplings today! Mmm.

Food aversions:  I haven’t had any lately.

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:

Hunger – Trying to eat lots of small meals to manage the heartburn.

Skin – Dry and itchy still, lots of moisturising going on!

– – –

Stretchmarks:  A few have popped up under my belly now for sure.

Doctor’s Appointment:  Seeing the midwife tonight! And because it’s an evening appointment D will get to finally meet her, which is good.

Movement:  All the time, as above!

Best moment of the week:  We’ve been talking more to the baby which has been fun, and all the wiggles are great. I’m also close to having 6 weeks left at work which feels almost manageable!

What I’m looking forward to:  Taylor Swift this weekend! It’ll be interesting balancing my intense excitement and looking after myself/needing to lie down.

What I miss:  I genuinely think I may sleep better (in quality, not quantity) once baby arrives. It’s a bizarre thought, but the pain and difficulty finding comfort will mostly be resolved once I give birth hopefully, so it’ll be a matter of napping as much as I can and working around him, especially once I’m not working full time. I’ve been told this by a few people who had difficulty sleeping in their pregnancy (though they told me in hushed tones, fearing being shunned by other parents) so we’ll just play it by ear.

I’m so excited for him to be here that we will just roll with whatever comes.

29 weeks

It’s weird being this close to 30 weeks – being 3* weeks pregnant sounds so close to having an actual baby, people. It’s mind-blowing. I am suddenly in super nesting mode and desperate to have everything ready for the baby – feeling like we have no time at all and yet so much time.

I have 8 weeks left at work which feels interminable but at the same time, not enough.

The size/what features:  Baby is a cauliflower or an acorn squash or something. Anyway, he’s probably over 3lbs now and is a little unhappy with his cramped quarters I think – so many wiggles and foot jabs and rolls. It’s surreal and I think I will miss it when he is born. You kinda get used to being prodded from the inside even though it’s such a short time.

Sleep:  Well today I’m feeling pretty rubbish from waking every 90 minutes last night. I definitely need an early one. It’s hard knowing you’re being trained for baby yet also needing the sleep so badly before baby comes. I wish I could nap in the work day!

Food cravings:  Still carbs mainly but I also really wanted glazed donuts on Saturday so we definitely indulged there.

Food aversions:  I’ve been good with most things this week!

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:

Hunger – Eating regularly in small quantities is helping to keep hunger at bay, though it’s weird – I go from “hmm I could eat” to “OMG FEED ME NOW” in about 5 minutes.

Skin – I’ve finally got the slight itchiness on my belly that I kept being warned about. Growing!

– – –

Stretchmarks:  No change this week.

Doctor’s Appointment:  Seeing the midwife on Friday (I now see her every 2 weeks) but no other appointments needed for a while.

Movement:  Almost all day.

Best moment of the week:  I bought a swimsuit (just a standard non-maternity one, in 2 sizes up) and felt very cute in it with my big bump. Looking forward to some swims – give me weightlessness please!

What I’m looking forward to:  Next week’s long weekend for a gig, tonight’s early bedtime…

What I miss:  Right now I kinda wish I could chug down a V (NZ energy drink). I mean, there’s coffee, but it’s not quite the same…