On grief and growth

Firstly, let me apologise for the long delay between posts. I have a lot still to say about the aftermath of E’s birth, but haven’t have time or energy yet to post.

And my dad, who had been sick since last June, unfortunately passed away 3 weeks ago today.

Our sweet baby boy is just over 5 months old and doing great. He has a high frequency hearing loss so started wearing hearing aids 2 months ago but is doing well in most respects.

It feels like it has all gone too quick yet like he has been with us forever.

It is difficult to reconcile this being such a happy time in our lives with it also being a time of intense grief. E has my Dad’s hair and some of his funnier facial expressions, which I am grateful for – yet in a way means I am always reminded of what has been lost. He has been a great distraction and crutch for myself and my wider family, who are still coming to terms with it. At the moment to be honest, I’m not sure if I’ll ever be used to it.

So. Good days and bad days. A hell of a lot of amazing support. And this wee man’s smile. Keeping us going, always.

More to say, soon. I still can’t believe we have a son. He is the light in every darkness and I am still just so, so grateful.