19 weeks

Posted on by under pregnancy, weekly update

Here’s your weekly update!

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Dinosaur baby!

The size/what features:  A mango! A Gameboy. A “four-toed hedgehog”. Oh boy.

Total weight gain/how much this week:  I’m up to pre-preg weight. I’m trying to eat more often because y’know, I’ve kinda been eating whatever I feel like and it’s not putting the weight on. I think the increase in my thyroid meds combined with extra walking and smaller portions has lead to this, and my fundal height was on target last appointment, so. I’m just hoping babe is getting all they need.

Sleep:  Still crap and if one more person is all, “get a maternity body pillow!” I’ll… be less polite I guess? Like I know they exist, people. Also very tired of the “just you wait til the baby comes before you talk about lack of sleep!” – like, really? Are new parents sleep-deprived? I’ve never heard that before.

Working full-time on no sleep seems harder to me right now, mainly because it requires looking nice and being polite and leaving my house…

Maternity Clothes:  In full swing. Just got some work trousers for the bump and boy are they comfy. Trying to switch up my dresses though so I’m not just wearing the same maternity dresses in the same order every week…

Food cravings:  For some reason, wedges and sour cream. Not had them yet. Still obsessed with Fanta. Trying to rein it in.

Food aversions:  Nothing specific, but still not particularly hungry. I’m doing better at making myself eat more though.

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:

Nausea – All gone.

Hunger – Higher but not ravenous, trying to eat regardless.

Heartburn – Better this week!

Skin – Dry and itchy and weird but getting better at moisturising.

– – –

Stretchmarks:  No change.

Doctor’s Appointment:  Had an excellent appointment at the Maternity Assessment Unit at the hospital last week. Due to IVF/thyroid issues, I qualify for referral there, but as my thyroid is so well-managed (my TSH is the lowest it’s been since diagnosis! Yay!) they’re happy for me to continue seeing my midwife and letting my GP monitor my thyroid bloods which I’ll carry on doing every 6 weeks. Also IVF babies can grow a bit slowly and be a bit small, so I’ll get extra scans at 28 and 34 weeks (fine with me!), and will most likely not go very far past my due date, if at all.

Movement:  I think I’m getting my first proper movements! I had flutters or pops every now and then but now I’m getting a wee “thump” every now and then. Can’t wait til it’s  more regular.

Belly Button:  Regular old navel.

Baby’s sex?:  We’ll know in a few days…!

Best moment of the week:  Feeling those definite thumps. Can’t wait til D feels them.

What I’m looking forward to:  Feeling kicks more/from the outside, our anatomy scan this week.

What I miss:  Runny eggs still (such a simple weekend treat!), sleeping a full night.

I’ll update soon on what sex baby is – though I imagine we’ll still carry on getting a lot of gender neutral stuff. We started buying things which is very exciting and I’m feeling all motivated to get some work done on the nursery.

I often look down or feel a little wiggle and remember that I’m having a baby. Guys, I’m having a BABY. It is still so surreal and wonderful and I refuse to take it for granted.

18 weeks

Posted on by under pregnancy, weekly update

Here’s your weekly update! Apologies if you received a blank version, WP is trolling me.

The size/what features:  Apparently an artichoke? Or sweet potato.

Total weight gain/how much this week:  Still not much and I raised this with my midwife last week. She felt if I was eating okay, she wasn’t worried.

Sleep:  Still a bit tough because my hips get achey, but doing okay.

Maternity Clothes:  Rotating dresses and returning to sweatpants when I get home.

Food cravings:  Still just Fanta and fruit juice! English muffins with peanut butter.

Food aversions:  Still just not that enthused about food but that’s okay.

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:

Nausea – All gone apart from a tummy bug I had earlier in the week!

Hunger – Still not increased but making sure I eat often.

Heartburn – Lesser, still an issue at night but I prop myself up.

Skin – Still dry and itchy, no glowing.

– – –

Stretchmarks:  No change there.

Doctor’s Appointment:  Had a good catch-up with my midwife team and heard baby’s heart, all sounding good. I don’t know how you’re supposed to just trust baby is still okay in there, but the heartbeat is very reassuring.

Movement:  A few pops here and there but nothing obvious yet. Looking forward to it.

Belly Button:  No change!

Baby’s sex?:  Find out for sure in 11 days. We’ve started buying some things though – girls can wear dinosaur onesies…

Best moment of the week:  Probably hearing that heartbeat again. Every week feels like waiting for movement so I worry less about the babe.

What I’m looking forward to:  Movement! Our anatomy scan. Getting the nursery sorted.

What I miss:  Sleeping comfortably in any position.

Getting closer to halfway…

17 weeks

Posted on by under pregnancy, weekly update

Here’s your weekly update!

The size/what features:  An apple, a white onion, creme brûlée, a “big potato”.

Total weight gain/how much this week:  Still haven’t really gained but I know it’s a-comin’. The bump is getting more of a roundness to it and despite being a bit overweight I always had a defined natural waist and that is definitely disappearing. Also by the end of the day I feel like I’m already waddling!

Sleep:  Not too bad but I do wake up a lot to move around and my hips and lower back ache. Most days I feel like I’ve done a big workout or something strenuous the day before to make my joints ache.

Maternity Clothes:  Started wearing a few more of the dresses I had ordered. Also found a new dress and some leggings and tops from H&M this week. I’m letting myself wear some clingy clothing which is new and strange for me, as someone who is quite self-conscious about her stomach. It’s really liberating to show it and I wonder if closer to my due date I’ll even wear a bikini for the first time ever? Would be quite a thing for me.

Food cravings:  Really sugary fruit juice still, and orange Fanta of all things.

Food aversions:  Nothing in particular but I still have no appetite really and am just uninterested in most things. Most work lunch breaks I just wander aimlessly until something sounds remotely appealing. It’s weird not knowing what I want! I make myself eat for the baby but eh. Yeah. Being pregnant has shown me just how often pre-pregnancy I let myself go hungry for a while, too. Now I tell myself to stop being a doofus and eat!

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:

Nausea – All gone.

Hunger – As above!

Heartburn – Still around, still awful, still needing tablets but I’m managing it okay.

Skin – STILL DRY AND UNFORGIVING. And itchy. I feel like I need to lotion myself all the time, or discreetly get my hand in my bra to itch my chest.

– – –

Stretchmarks:  Nothing new.

Doctor’s Appointment:  Seeing the midwife soon. Another doppler, yay! I love hearing baby’s heartbeat.

Movement:  Nothing yet though occasionally I feel like a popcorn pop or flutter in there.

Belly Button:  Seems less deep? I’ve never paid that much attention though.

Baby’s sex?:  Find out in a few weeks.

Best moment of the week:  Feeling pretty in my maternity dresses.

What I’m looking forward to:  Feeling babe, still!

What I miss:  Not worrying about what I’m eating and if it’s enough. The mum stress is beginning.

Nothing much else to share this week, I’ll be sure to update again after 18 weeks ticks over and of course with our next scan. We have our suspicions about what sex the wee babe is but it’ll be good to know what we’re expecting!

16 weeks

Posted on by under pregnancy, weekly update

I’m going to start those prompts. Because y’know, fun.

 

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The size/what features:  Apparently the size of an avocado! Ears in their final spot, eyes can sense light etc (though are still sealed closed), and growing some hair! 

Total weight gain/how much this week:  None and none. Not that unusual if you’re a higher BMI to start with as you may lose weight with the metabolism hike. I’m now about 1kg/2.2lbs below my starting weight. Who knows what will happen! Ideally I’d like to gain only what I need, but I’m also not going to obsess over it. 

Sleep:  Ugh. Insomnia is the worst. I go to bed at 9 or 9:30 though, to try and get loads of rest. I don’t know if it’s our bed or what but my hips get achey now, and I move a lot more than I did. 

Maternity Clothes:  Jeans and dresses so far. My normal leggings and trackies are still working though I’d like to get some actual maternity leggings soon. I’m also going to hit H&M for some new general maternity clothes, though a lot of my dresses are actually suitable.  

Food cravings:  Fruit juice. Like sweet tropical flavours such as apple, orange, and mango, or Just Juice. Not the healthiest but hey, it’s not the worst craving.  

Food aversions:  Strong-smelling meats? Weird things like dishes my husband makes that I love I don’t enjoy as much anymore. I also have had just a lack of appetite in general which has been weird. I’m trying to force myself to eat because if I get too hungry I then eat too fast and give myself indigestion.

– – –

Symptoms I HAVE:
Nausea – Not really, though pills are still a bit tougher to swallow, and strong smells are still the worst, and coughing makes me feel gross too.

Hunger – Definitely not the “ravenous” levels that so many others are? I eat smaller amounts than normal but am trying to eat more frequently, though. And I’ve asked D to feed me more vegetables.

Heartburn – Yes. A lot of the time. Managed better now though.

Skin – DRY AND UNFORGIVING

 – – –

Stretchmarks:  Not really – I had a few tiny ones on my belly anyway and haven’t noticed any yet. I know this is largely genetic and my mum/sister did get them so I’m not expecting to escape it, really.

Doctor’s Appointment:  Next midwife check is 9th August.

Movement:  Not yet but hoping every day to feel the wee babe!

Belly Button:  Still an innie, obviously!

Baby’s sex?:  Dunno yet! 

Best moment of the week:  Feeling like I’ve popped so much more. And getting our final NT results back – our trisomy condition risk rate is 1:21,000, which is awesome.

What I’m looking forward to:  Feeling the baby move, getting more energy maybe, the 20 week scan. 

What I miss:  Runny eggs and medium rare steak!

14-15 weeks

Posted on by under pregnancy, TTC

(Thoughts written at the time):

Suddenly, I’ve popped. It’s hard knowing if I’m bigger than I should be, being a bit overweight to start with, but this seems to be a common thought, going by some of the apps I have. The comments on articles seem to vary from “I don’t have a bump yet!” to “I feel too big already!”. With my short torso, there’s really nowhere for the babe to grow but out.

I like my cute bump but yes, I wonder if I’m looking a bit further on than I am. My bump isn’t hard yet, and is still a bit wobbly rather than one round bump, but it’s on the way. It’s exciting to have tangible and visible evidence that you’re growing in there. It’s like oh hello, there you are.

I feel a little less tired during the day now, though I need to stick to my early bedtime. If I push it, I definitely suffer the following day. I’m also still suffering from heartburn, though I find antacids are helping. Unfortunately this is GERD, really, which I suffered from a little before getting pregnant, so a dry cough sometimes comes with it, which can lead to gagging if it’s too persistent. Oh the joys. I’m not nauseated anymore, but I’m definitely still struggling at times with swallowing pills (despite being a pro before!) and particular strong smells.

The only other thing I’ve noticed is that my dry skin is even drier. No glowing for me. (Yet?).

Now I’m counting down to that anatomy scan! Because that will mean we’re halfway. It definitely seems like this pregnancy is all about getting from one milestone to the next, and I’m okay with that. I feel like this babe is a while off yet, but also going to be here before I know it.

Picture day

Posted on by under feelings, pregnancy

(Thoughts written at the time):

Today I’m 12+6. Today we had another scan.

I’ve been waiting for this for such a long time. Today was the chance to find out if you are doing okay, after weeks of wondering. We got to see you and hear your wee heart.

You kicked away and waved your wee arm and the technician measured your parts and pointed out your legs (crossed at the ankle), your spine, and the two parts of your brain.

Here is a picture of you!

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We’ve been telling some people about you. Tonight we’ll tell your uncles and aunts, and your cousins. Tomorrow we’ll message our friends in Scotland and here, and maybe on Friday we’ll tell social media.

It has been hands down the hardest secret I’ve ever had to keep. After years of infertility, we’ve had so many people in our corner, cheering us on. I can’t wait to see how happy knowing about you will make them. I can’t wait til you make my pudgy belly round. I can’t wait til I get to feel you.

Such a wee miracle.

8-9 weeks

Posted on by under feelings, pregnancy

(Thoughts written at the time):

I have the weirdest feeling – it’s like I know you’re there. I can feel this pull in my uterus, like it’s being forced to grow. It’s almost constant. Like an ongoing hello.

I’m feeling a bit breathless at the moment. And so, so tired. I’m also quite over the medications, but also every day this gratitude is always there. What a milestone to get this far.

Apparently the babe now measures as a raspberry or a cherry.  I haven’t gained any weight yet, which is common for those who had a little extra padding to begin with. So far I’ve done nothing but lose (no appetite, queasiness) so I’m a few kgs down. However, I’m already sleeping with a pillow between my knees (the progesterone supplementation makes everything relax, including hips etc, so can lead to early achiness). I think I’ll order some maternity clothes next week. The bloat is unreal.

Had my first real craving last week – salt & vinegar chips!

The worst has been the heartburn. A kind friend sent me some Rennie’s from Scotland (what a life saver). I’m going to stock up on Gaviscon.

My skin is dry and I’m getting a fluffy chin (delightful). Also my boobs being so much bigger and sweating together has given me a rash. Isn’t pregnancy delightful?

I also met my midwife this week who is super lovely and supportive and everything I wanted in a midwife. Chuffed.

So. We’re moving along! The hardest part is not telling anyone. I want to shout it from the rooftops.

Scan day

Posted on by under feelings, IVF, pregnancy

(Thoughts written at the time):

Today I am 7 weeks and 4 days pregnant. Today we had our first scan.

Last Thursday, when I hit 7 weeks, it felt like a switch had been flicked. Suddenly, I felt pregnant. I already had the usual symptoms of the hormones: sore/enlarged chest, gas and bloating, fatigue – but suddenly my uterus had a fullness to it, a slight pressure. I also had very mild pulling cramps. It was like, “Hey! I’m here!”

I don’t understand how other mothers-to-be cope waiting for their first scan. Often it’s this long wait until 12 weeks to know whether or not all is well. I am grateful that one positive of the fertility treatment process is that you always get this early look. It’s a chance to check all is progressing as it should, and hopefully see that heartbeat.

I spent the 3.5 weeks leading up to it terrified that there wouldn’t be a heartbeat.

But there was. There was a little babe, with a little yolk sac, and a little flickering heartbeat. I had to stick my fists under my hips to raise myself a little so we got a good view of it, and then the doctor flicked a switch and suddenly, we heard it.

Magic.

I was measuring right on schedule (even possibly a few days ahead) and all looked well. He advised me to up my thyroid meds until my first blood test, and to get myself a midwife. I’d already seen my GP and contacted a midwife, and shortly after my scan, spoke to her and booked in an appointment.

 

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We’re all go, and finally, suddenly, it all feels real.

I think I’m going to be a mum.

6 weeks

Posted on by under feelings, IVF, pregnancy

(Thoughts written at the time):

We reached 6 weeks pregnant and I waited for the dreaded morning sickness to come. None came, but shortly after beginning the week, I was hit with a nasty cold. It’s the total worst – as much as I’m embracing being pregnant, it’d be nice to be able to take something to speed up my recovery. Instead, I must rest.

The bloating has begun, and my boobs are already ridiculous. Other than that, I’ve been doing okay. Every day is a day closer to the scan, which I’m most excited about. I know that hearing that heartbeat gives us a 90-95% chance of taking home a baby. Oh how I want to hear it.

For now, have a picture of our weird little moon crater offspring:

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Isn’t that wild? That’s a picture of our embryo freshly thawed on the day it was transferred to my uterus. It blows my mind to have such a tangible reminder that this future person started as this tiny clump of cells.

Today, at 6+4, our babe is the size of a chocolate chip, a pea, a ladybug, a grain of rice, a smartie. The apps all have different cute size reference points, and I have all the apps.

The baby is growing organs and has eyes that can’t quite see yet, and may already apparently be waving its little nubby arms and legs around. This is all super surreal to me. Apart from the little bloated belly (which to be honest, I’ve always had a fat tum), and the tiredness, I don’t really feel any different. I’m still on estradiol and progesterone for 4 more weeks, and I’ve just started separate folic acid and iodine instead of my expensive prenatal, so I currently take about 11 pills a day.

I can’t wait for the first scan, and to reach that 12 week point, too. I think I’ll be forever counting milestones until we feel like we’re “in the clear”. But maybe I’ll never feel really in the clear. It took so much heartache to get here, there’s a part of me expecting failure and devastation.

I pray every day that this pregnancy continues.

Betas

Posted on by under feelings, IVF, pregnancy

To update you on last week’s very exciting post, our home tests were followed very quickly with a blood draw: the only one I haven’t dreaded.

I knew we were pregnant, I needed to know how pregnant – that number would tell us if this pregnancy was likely to continue or just a blip on the radar.

Thankfully, our first number was 260. 5 days later we were followed with 2300 – an excellent “doubling time”. HCG should double every 48-72 hours, mine had doubled in 38.

Then test number 3 followed a week after that one, with 14300. I finally felt like I could breathe a little bit. All we had to wait for now was the scan: once I’d heard that wee heart beating, we felt like we could tell our close friends and wider family.

It felt like the longest wait of our lives.