I never intended for this blog to drop away as soon as Euan came, and stop writing. But I also don’t think I could have anticipated how little time I would have to use that part of my brain. I’ve honestly wanted to write, but seeing how little I have touched my piano or done any sort of interest that isn’t knitting, I’m not too surprised it hasn’t happened.
When I last wrote, all I wanted was some more time with my boy. Sorry, y’all. I didn’t mean to start a pandemic trapping us all in our homes (I kid, I kid). But it has been the only silver lining – I’ve had more time with Euan than I thought I’d get for sure, and it has given us more time to work on the things Euan needs help with – his gross motor skills, his language. When he turned 18 months there was a sudden shift in communication and he has at least 15-20 words and he’s trying to sign and copying a lot more.
He’s just over 20 months now and is getting so much stronger at standing and moving around furniture and is so close to walking, we think! The combination of his low tone and his lack of balance with his hearing are the causes of the delay but he is strong and determined and pushing his wee feet hard to propel his little trike around most days. He’s a champ.
In other news, my brain has used any free moments it has had in the last 6 months to think about another baby. It’s weird because there’s this guilt almost that how dare we contemplate having another when so many haven’t even managed to get their first yet and I feel a little awkward even writing about it. Infertility never really leaves you. But we have 1 embryo left and we do plan to try it in the next 6 months. I’ll keep you posted.
I am still thinking of and sending love to all of my friends still in those treatment trenches or hoping their adoptions come through. I still find it hard to believe sometimes that this beautiful boy is in our lives and after all of those years we became this family — it once seemed so impossible and I really hope it is possible for you all too, soon.
I promise not to leave it so long until I update again. I hope you’re all okay.