Diagnosis

So we went into our specialist appointment on Tuesday with me expecting them to say, “you need IVF with ICSI”, and walked out after they’d said exactly that.

Unfortunately, our results were worse than we knew, and ICSI is much more viable an option than standard IVF.  The specialist actually said, “They’re asleep” about the last SA. So there’s that. At least I could laugh.

Luckily hormone levels are normal and so was genetic/chromosomal testing which was a big relief.

I have been told to lose weight (just so that I’m a bit further clear of the 30 BMI limit – I’m currently at 29.9), eat healthy, exercise, keep trying naturally as sometimes things happen, but otherwise they’ve put us on the 12 month waiting list for NHS-funded ICSI. With the move to NZ in December so we also enquired about self-funded here, which we could get on with pretty much straight away, but it’s £5k. We’d be happy to do it but if we had any frozen embryos I wouldn’t know how to even start with getting them transferred to NZ…

We think we’ll get on NZ waiting lists when we get there and self-fund 1 cycle while we wait (doesn’t affect your place on the list). If it fails, we have 2 free cycles to fall back on.  That’s $12k NZD out of our savings, but if it comes down to that or a new bathroom in the house, I choose a baby. I’d rather have a baby to wash in the sink, than a nice bathroom with no baby to bathe.

It does mean this wait before we can even get started. I feel like I’ve spent the last 5-7 years waiting.  I’ve been wanting a baby for such a long time, and with the heartbreak of the last 18 months, it’s tough to think of waiting another 2 years to possibly hold a baby in my arms. Hence, yes, money. We’re very lucky that we’ll soon be in the position to afford these things thanks to the house sale* and a possible payout from work**.

We knew this was coming and I had done all of the research and resigned myself to it being the diagnosis but none of that has made me feel any better.  We now need to make some tough decisions.

Our options are:

  1. A self-funded cycle here for the aforementioned £5k.  If we had leftover embryos to freeze then I’d have to arrange some sort of international transfer (or forfeit them), and that worries me.  We also probably can’t afford to pay until late in the year so it might not be feasible.
  2. Wait until NZ and go on the waiting list, and self-fund a cycle while waiting.

My heart really wants option 1 but I know with the stress of everything, option 2 is really the best idea. We’re still discussing and thinking and trying to keep our heads up.

The next step is to tell our families.

 

*house still not on market
**work being dicks
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